GRAPHIC ENERGY The man who said a picture is worth a thousand words was, quite simply, talking out of the wrong end of his alimentary canal: a good picture is easily worth a thousand watts of electrical power. It works like this: light reflected from the pictures you see is converted into electrical current or "Graphic Energy" when it enters the eyes, and the body uses this "Graphic Energy" to perform vital if somewhat disgusting functions every day of your life. Much like the artificial food available in a convenience mart, pictures that are poor in Graphic Energy can be filling, but within minutes they cause the body to sag despondently. However, images with high Graphic Energy content are -- like a sumptuous banquet that someone else has paid for -- exceedingly kind to the system, providing a lasting feeling of euphoric clarity, sublime potency and minty fresh breath. Knowing that your well-being depends on maximizing the few hours a day that you've got your eyes open, we here at Illuminado are dedicated to providing only the finest in high energy picture sources. Led by our founder, Mr. Mark Dancey, we're steadily producing paintings, posters, comics, illustrations and other illuminating images, each one humming with the graphic energy you need to keep a light in the mind and a fire in the pants. Our site is open around the clock and updated constantly, so feel free to peruse our galleries of freshly minted and vintage pictures whenever you're in need of graphic stimulation. If you should come ascross an image that you just can't live without, simply consult our childishly simple order form, send in your order, and your desires will be instantly gratified in two to three weeks. SOMETHING NEW VOLANDISMO New Paintings by Mark Dancey Re:View Contemporary Gallery June 13 – July 25, 2009. Joseph Campbell said that myths are public dreams, while dreams are private myths. Painter Mark Dancey is producing strangely hybrid works that combine personal narratives with traditional myths. For his current series of round oil paintings of acrobatic nudes he studied the great ceiling painters of the past and has adopted their strategies for rendering the body in forced perspective. When we see figures from the low vantage point at which Dancey presents them, they seem to loom and float above us, and naturally appear in a mythical light. With a few symbolic props, Dancey's divine aerialists each inhabit a space that stretches to a three hundred and sixty degree horizon and invoke associations that are at once religious, erotic, and evocative. Taking its title from a Spanish word for an archaic theological science devoted to the study of flying beings, Volandismo is an exhibit of works that freely mix myths and dreams, mysteries and revelations Read more about the exhibit at Re:View Contemporary Gallery http://www.reviewcontemporary.com/ . THE ILUMINADO MYTHOGRAPHIC LUNAR CALENDAR Ever since the first hairy humans beheld the moon, people have been making up stories about it and linking fantastic deities with it. Drawing from this heritage of moon mythology (and in keeping with its own title), the Iluminado Mythographic Lunar Calendar is illustrated with depictions of thirteen essential moon goddesses from world mythology. This is a perpetual calendar that utilizes a system that divides the year into thirteen months consisting of twenty-eight days each. Based on the average length of the lunar cycle, this system yields a year that is 364 days long, with an extra "Day Out of Time," a day off after one year ends and before another begins. Leap years are accomodated by simply adding a second "Day Out of Time." The Iluminado Mythographic Lunar Calendar is handsomely printed on acid-free silk-finish paper. It is 28 pages long, it measures 7"x7" and is now available here at $9 cheap. THE THIRD DIMENSION Year after year Dancey has been claiming to be on the brink of producing three-dimensional objects of unparalleled virtue and utility. Although it would be nice if we could report that he has finally proved his doubters wrong and constructed these fabled objects; the fact is that he hasn’t. However, he has managed to befriend Mssrs. Jeff Richards and Dan Banda, master artisans in the realm of custom jewelry and metalworking. The collaboration between Dancey and these consumate craftsmen has resulted in three-dimensional works that are every bit as virtuous as they are useful.     Chess Set, 2003 Mssrs. Richards and Banda took Dancey’s half-formed napkin scrawls and expertly sculpted them in bronze and stainless steel. This set discards the social hierarchy that chess pieces usually represent and imposes a new order based on the human body; in this set the brain is the king, the heart is the queen, the eyes are the bishops, and so on. The board consists of 64 precision-fit tiles of bronze and stainless steel and weighs over 50 pounds.       Wheel of Fortune, 2003 Starting with an old bike wheel, a set of magnets, and Dancey’s wildly impractical sketches, the intrepid Richards and Banda constructed this fully functional game of mischance. When the wheel spins, the running torso sprints along the edge of the wheel until he catches up with one of the heads painted on the wheel’s surface. Meanwhile, the runner’s alter ego has quit running to relax with the Sphinx at the center of the wheel. DANCEY Mr. Mark Dancey was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and was one of the co-conspirators behind the infamous Motorbooty Magazine from 1987 to 1999. Omnipresent in Motorbooty, Dancey's work has also appeared in many glossy consumer magazines, on the CD covers of several popular rock combos, and in the hep galleries of glamorous cities across the world. The list of satisfied clients who have purchased illustrations from Iluminado include W.W. Norton, A & M Records, Capitol Records, Esquire Magazine, Fortune Magazine, Details Magazine, Automobile Magazine, Skiing Magazine, Spin Magazine, The Village Voice and The O.C. Weekly. Mr. Dancey now lives in Detroit, Michigan.